Has someone done you wrong?
Taken away your chance for happiness,
peace, health, or success?
Come in like a thief in the night and stolen
what matters most to you?
If there was a guarantee that there would be
no negative consequences to you, would you
seek revenge against that person?
Many people would say “Absolutely.”
And The Research Says…
have found, however, that those given the
opportunity to “punish” someone they believe
has done them harm actually feel worse
afterwards than those who do not punish
their transgressors. Why would that be?
You Want Closure?
It is hypothesized that if you cannot or do not
seek revenge on someone, you eventually will
end up minimizing or trivializing what the
person did to you, or the impact it had on you.
Getting revenge, however, makes you unable
to see the original slight or harm as trivial,
because by seeking revenge, it automatically
becomes a “big deal,” one that may be impossible
for you to forget.
Instead of revenge giving you closure, getting
revenge means you will never get closure.
“The paradox of vengefulness is that it
makes men dependent upon those who have
harmed them, believing that their release
from pain will come only when their
tormentors suffer.” ~Laura Hillenbrand
What Matters To You?
If it doesn’t matter enough to me to take revenge
on you, then it stands to reason that you just
don’t really matter that much to me.
The opposite of love is not hate, it is
indifference. Anyone who has been shut out
of another person’s life knows that being
nothing to that person hurts more than if
that person just flat out hated your guts.
You have to at least care to hate someone’s guts.
Forgive or Forget?
So, what’s a person to do who is “angry as
Hell and not going to take it anymore?”
Do you have to forgive the person who hurt
you in order to forget them?
Moving on with your life with the knowledge
you now have of who that person is and what
you need to do to heal is the best revenge.
Because it isn’t revenge.