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Loving “As Is”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

So it’s Valentine’s Day again…and that means

another post about love, relationships, romance,

and all things that make the world go round.

On this Hallmark holiday, most people stress the

aspects of closeness, bonding, and connection.

But the yang to all that yin is about how real

love is mostly about learning how to let go.

The AS IS Deal

Have you ever decided to purchase something

like a car or a refrigerator or couch that’s

been sitting on the salesroom floor with the

big sign on it:  AS IS?

You can get a really great deal sometimes.

Mostly because “what you see is what you get”

and you can “take it or leave it.”

There are no guarantees, sometimes there are

no warranties.  There may be scratches or dents.

You have to purchase the item AS IS.

The AS IS Partner

Deciding to love someone can be an

AS IS proposition…and also a really great deal.

What you see is what you get and you can

take him or her or leave him or her.

But a lot of times people don’t do that.

They think they are taking someone AS IS,

but they are really thinking how they’re

going to get this model home and change it.

They bought a Prius and wonder why

it doesn’t drive like a Ferrari.

Or they bought a Ferrari and wonder

why it doesn’t get a Prius’ gas mileage.

Back to Yin and Yang

So back to how real love is about letting go:

Letting go of unrealistic expectations, wants,

desires, wishes, and other things your partner

is just never going to be.

Letting your partner be who they are, accepting

that they are who they are, and loving them anyway.

Letting go of the expectation that your son or

daughter become an attorney if you are.

Letting go of the desire for your wife to want

to play tennis as much as you do.

Letting go of the wish that your husband could

be Mr. Fix-Everything if he isn’t.

Letting go of the expectation that your partner,

parent, child, sibling, or friend has to

love you the way you want to be loved.

Try A Little Letting Go

There is no greater gift you give to your loved one

(no matter who it is you love)

than to love them exactly as they are.

And there is no greater gift you can receive than to

feel loved for exactly who you are.

So for Valentine’s Day, instead of roses and

chocolate, instead of giving or holding closer,

why not try a little letting go?   <3

 

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