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Can You Pass Me the Salt? Or Will You?

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Grammar Lesson

You:  “Can you pass me the salt?”

Them:  “I can pass you the salt.

Don’t you mean ‘Will you pass me the salt?'”

You:  (Sigh) “Okay, yes, will you pass me the salt?”

Them:  “Don’t you mean ‘Will you please pass me the salt?'”

You: “Never mind.”

Change Lesson

Okay, beside the fact that we can all agree that we HATE

having our grammar corrected by other people, there is

actually an important point in all of this.

It has to do with the difference between intention and

the manifestation of intention through action, also

known as change.

What Are You Saying?

Barring things like major depression and medical

illnesses that prevent individuals from being able to

follow through on their stated intentions, why is it

so hard for people to actually change what they say

they want to change?  It’s all about the energy.

Potential Energy

I hear from many people that they would like to

learn new coping skills, learn how to parent differently,

be a better partner, learn how to manage their

anger in a healthier way, eat more nutritiously.

Statements of desire are similar to potential energy

…energy that is just sitting there, waiting to be used.

It’s what you can do.

Kinetic Energy

To actually make change occur and learn something

new, do something differently, you have to convert

potential energy into kinetic energy…energy that

a body has because it is in motion.

It’s what you will do.

It’s what you are doing.

The Rate of Conversion

Everyone converts potential energy to kinetic energy

at their own pace, when they are ready.

Prochaska’s Stages of Change Model suggests

there are 3 stages people go through before they

get to the action stage of change:

precontemplation (considering thinking about change),

contemplation (actively thinking about change),

preparation (planning change), and then finally

action!, followed by maintenance of change.

You can determine where you are in the process

of converting your potential energy to action.

When Seeing A Therapist Can Help

Therapy often helps individuals in the stages of

contemplation and preparation, action, and in

maintaining new change.

If you’re only in the precontemplation stage,

considering thinking about making a change

…save your money and wait until you’re ready to

make real change to schedule that appointment.

Knowing that you need to make a change and being

ready to do the work and take the risks necessary

to actually proceed are two different things.

You can change.

The question is, will you?

While you’re thinking about it…

can you pass me the salt?

 

 

 

 

 

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