A Year To Change – eBook
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Why People Don’t Change ‘Til They Have To

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I became a therapist thinking that

people just naturally wanted to change,

grow, get better, become healthier….

and how cool was that going to be to

assist in that process?!

Boy, was I naive.

After 20 years as a therapist, what I

discovered is that it is extremely rare

for anyone to make real change

unless they absolutely have to.

That’s just Humans 101.

When Does Change Happen?

Your back is up against a wall.

Avoidance and denial isn’t working

anymore and reality is biting you in

the proverbial rear end.

Your symptoms are killing you.

Or you’ve hit rock bottom. Hard.

You’ve finally gotten a wake up call

so loud it’s already burst the eardrums

of everyone within a 50 mile radius.

Then it dawns on you.  Hey, maybe I

should do something about this.

When Should Change Happen?

Is that the best time to try to work

on changing something?

When there are no other options left?

Actually, (I hate to say it!) it really can be.

What’s My Motivation?

There’s no motivation like this:

Learn how to communicate or your wife

is going to leave you. (Or she’s already gone

and you’re trying to get her back.)

Figure out how to resolve conflict better

with your boss or you’re going to get fired.

Get sober or lose any chance of having

a normal life. Oh, and good luck getting

your driver’s license back.

Changing Before You Have To

Sometimes knowing that it would be good

for you to change just isn’t enough.

Naive or not, I still really wish it were.

But sometimes you have to know there

aren’t any other options left.

If you’re smart enough to see that your

behavior is getting you to that place where

you will eventually hit rock bottom and you

decide to do something about it, that’s great.

No, it’s more than great. It’s amazing!

Because it’s really, really rare.

Deciding to change before you have to gets

you a gold star before you even start changing.


This week in A Year to Change, we are tackling

the chapter called The Tyranny of the Shoulds,

which is all about how come you don’t change

because you “should?”  Yeah, how come?!

If you know you “should” do something or

stop doing something, come and join me in

learning why that’s not going to work…and

learn what actually will!  You really should!









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