You know what to do when you get angry, right?
Count to ten, breathe, walk it off, or walk away.
Those tips and techniques really do work when
you’ve got a good old-fashioned-vanilla kind of
angry going on. (Anger Management Tips)
The Incredible Hulk
But have you ever gotten so angry that
you felt something “snap” inside you?
Like you’re The Incredible Hulk, but instead
of turning green you’re just seeing red and you
no longer care about anyone or anything?
If so, then you know the power of destructive rage,
the hurt that it causes, the damage that can be
wreaked in your life and your relationships.
“I’m sorry” just doesn’t cut it after you’ve let
loose, but the anger seems too powerful in
the moment to reign it in before it’s too late.
Exploding Is NOT Better Than Holding It In
It’s a myth that holding anger in is worse for you
than letting it out and venting at everyone.
Destructive anger doesn’t help you or anyone else.
Yes, you need to be able to figure out where the anger
is coming from and let others know what’s going on,
but not when you’re so angry you could just spit.
Try Holding More Than Your Tongue
If you’re feeling the anger rising up from within
and it feels like you’re going to lose control of
your temper and cause mass destruction, here
is something you can try that might prevent
disaster: Get ahold of yourself. Literally.
First, clasp your hands in front of you, holding
them together tightly, then pull your clasped hands
toward you until they push against your stomach.
While you do this, pull your elbows in so they are
holding the sides of your body tightly. You can do
this standing or sitting, but sitting is probably better.
You’ve just created a portable “Hug Machine!”
Calming Yourself Down
Temple Grandin, a famous adult with autism,
invented a “hug machine” to calm herself when she
was experiencing sensory overload and anxiety.
Her experiences watching cattle going through
tight chutes on the way to be branded and the way
they calmed down when the chute got so small that
it squeezed them helped her develop this unique
way to calm her nervous system when overstimulated.
You Are A Portable “Hug Machine”
Sitting down, with the chair back behind you, your
tightly clasped hands against your stomach and elbows
to your sides is the human version of a squeeze chute
or a “hug machine,” and you will notice if you do this
that just like infants will calm down when swaddled,
you also will begin to calm down. It will feel unnatural
should you attempt to yell or scream or rage when
holding yourself this way. You’ll be straining against
yourself, which helps to put some psychological limits
on that destructive anger. You are in control.
You are holding onto that anger, so it cannot come
out and unleash itself on anyone or anything else.
Hug the Anger Into Submission
You can sit and “hug” your anger into submission,
and when you know the rage storm has passed, you
can go about exploring what just triggered that feeling
and figure out what you want or need to do about it.
This is the real “work” of anger management that
can follow this rage management technique.
Just try to remember when your rage is building
and threatens to explode, “get ahold of yourself.”