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Face It

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When I am working with clients
in therapy, I often share with them
this piece of universal wisdom:

The extent to which you are willing to
cope with reality is the extent to which
you can be mentally healthy.

It’s just a phenomenon I have observed over
the past 25 years of working with people as
a psychologist and as a human being over the
past 50 years of living my own life.

Face It or Be Stuck

If you want to rid yourself of feelings of
anxiety or depression, but are not willing
to face and find a way to deal with whatever
the realities of your life are, you can forget it.

You are going to be stuck with anxiety and
depression. Get comfortable with that.

Being willing to face whatever has happened
in your life or is currently happening in your
life is often a daunting task.

And you may need help finding ways to cope
with it, deal with it, heal from it, and move on.

But in my experience, you don’t even have to
be making very good headway with dealing
with reality to have better mental health.

You just have to be willing to face reality
instead of use denial or escapism in all of
their unhealthy forms.

Reality Is A Brick Wall

Reality really is that brick wall that you can
choose to bash yourself into over and over
again because you just can’t believe it’s there
or you just don’t want to believe that it’s there.

But, it’s there.

The moment that you can admit to yourself
that it is there and begin to make some decisions
about what you want to do about that wall,
you’re set free from all the self-destructive coping
skills you had to practice in order to deny or curse
its existence.

Face It

Face it.
Face the wall.
Touch it.
Explore the bricks.
Explore the mortar.
Read the graffiti.
Paint some graffiti.

Just don’t keep walking into it over and over
again, telling me and yourself and everyone else
that it isn’t there.
That it shouldn’t be there, so it isn’t really there.
That you’ve really got this, as you plow into it
one more time, coming away bloody and bruised.
Again.

The extent to which you are willing to
cope with reality is the extent to which
you can be mentally healthy.

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